Film Review: The Legend of Tarzan

I watched Tarzan during my flight from Hong Kong to UK, and it seems like with every Disney remake, it’s all sorts of really entertaining but insane.

Spoiler alert, duh.

The story follows eight years after Tarzan meets Jane and they fall in love and moved back to Western civilisation. Tarzan, now known as John and a rich member of upper society, is lured back to Congo under the lure of being a political back-patter, when in fact a tribe chief wants him dead and will trade his life for diamonds to a sneaky white-clad white Belgian convoy, who uses those diamonds to build an army to invade Congo. Cue plentiful backstabbing.

Tarzan is accompanied by George, a doctor of unknown medical specialty but specialises in hardcore guns and perfect shots. Along the way, we learn about the various mating calls of animals (now we know when crocodiles want sex!) and see Margot Robbie mostly defy the traditional damsel-in-distress role (sassy damsel to sassy escapee to sassy bystander) and Tarzan defy physics in jungle parkour. And also defies critical physical injuries from a gorilla raining blows on his back/ass, suffering a single bite and dislocated shoulder.

I suppose aside from defying physics and biology, the second most ridiculous aspect is Tarzan making an army of wildebeest and lions (ON THE SAME SIDE) even though he’s actually already freed slaves and armed them and allied with his old gorilla family. It makes pretty awesome visuals, a herd of wildebeest ramming through a massive brick fancy house until it collapses, but it also yields a WTF from me.

Speaking of visuals, I have to play tribute to my ovaries. Alexander Skarsgard, hot hot hot. Swoons. Margot Robbie is dang attractive, too.

Overall: film gets eye candy points, but loses plausibility points. Will watch once but not watch again. 3 stars.


5 Comments Add yours

  1. J. M. Butler says:

    Nice review! I look forward to checking this movie out. I’ll be sure to brace for the WTF moments. πŸ˜€ By the way, I know I’ve said this before, but I love your African bullfrog. I had one as a secondary character in one of my stories. πŸ˜€


    1. Let me know what you make of it! I did enjoy it despite all the whining, haha. Frog — you mean the one in my banner? She’s a pacman frog (Ceratophrys ornata), not an African bullfrog. I do have one of those, too, though! He’s a heffer xD


  2. kathierivera says:

    Wow, great review. I haven’t seen it yet, so I’m looking forward to see it when I get a break. I love your blog design. Very nice!


    1. Thanks for reading! Let me know how you find it when you do see itπŸ˜„


  3. glynhockey says:

    Good review, though not my kind of movie.


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