Film Review: Bridget Jones’s Baby

I liked a bit of Bridget Jones back when the first two films came out: they were funny, horrifically cringeworthy, and altogether a lighthearted comedy that could be enjoyed with girlfriends over cups of tea. I’m usually over-critical of the blundering, dimwitted Jones, and yet at the same time I do enjoy watching it. Complex love-hate relationship. BJ3 didn’t disappoint.

First things first: what has Renee Zellwegger done to her face??? No amount of dieting can give her straight enough eyebrows to beat a spirit level and a forehead that can’t move. She was so pretty in the previous films!

Also: Daniel Cleaver died?? I’m already traumatised.

Within 12mins, the film amped up the cringeworthiness by having Bridget give cues to news-presenter Miranda aptly inappropriate questions in an interview of a general on foreign genocide. I cringed so hard even my bowels twisted.

So 43-year-old Bridget goes to the equivalent of Glastonbury in an attempt to blend with people 20 years her junior and — hold the hell up was that MCDREAMY??? Damn, best looking guy in Grey’s Anatomy, salt-and-pepper hair and all. And Mark Darcy’s aged well, too. It seems like it’s just Bridget that didn’t — and it seems very odd her personality remains absolutely unchanged after ten years. I’ve never understood the desirability of Bridget — Mark Darcy is the polar opposite of her. She’s ditzy, many slices of bread missing from a full loaf, inappropriate, klutzy, and there is almost nothing in common in terms of interest with him. I imagine he’ll be driven mad by her, which was probably why after ten years they still aren’t together. And Bridget had insight about that. Whereas Quant is fun, imaginative, and enjoys life, but still highly intelligent, and has some semblance of things in common with her.

After two one-night stands, she does a pregnancy test. At 43 and having had several relationships, she doesn’t realise biodegradable out-of-date condoms aren’t safe to use. She also finds it awkward to disclose she had those to the obstetrician. I appreciate it’s part of the charm of Bridget Jones, but when she’s 43 and still like this, it gets irritating. Basically I was Emma Thompson throughout. That sass though.

I also can’t believe she peed on the pregnancy test only to put it in the BARE HANDS of her friend Miranda. That’s disgusting!

The moment Bridget sees her baby for the first time was endearing, heartwarming… and then she cowers before the amnio needle despite all the faff about acquiring DNA samples from Quant (pretty sure it’s illegal to DNA check without his consent) and I lose all respect for her again.

Further irritation with her “will I won’t I tell them”. Kudos to her for eventually having the courage to say it; I imagine it must be terrifying but she carries it off with that same Jones suave (or blunder, as it were).

Caught in a love triangle once again at 43, she finally decides it’s not the similarity that makes a spouse desirable, but rather how they felt like home. I can’t help but point out Qwantify actually calculates compatibility not similarity, as different personality traits can be compatible. But ultimately she settles on the guy with whom she’s failed a relationship for ten years. Personally I can’t envision the next ten years being any different, especially with a new baby.

Ultimately not a movie that changed my life, but still a nice giggling contribution to afternoon girly tea.

I’ll put away my Judgey-McJudge hat now.

Verdict: 3 stars. Seen this film? What are your thoughts?