Film Review: Thor: Ragnarok

FilmReviewThorRagnarok

I love Marvel films. I love superheroes. I love Thor.

But I have to say this… how do I phrase it nicely…

What the fuck did I just watch?!

Contains spoilers, duh.

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Behold! We begin the story by playing the unnecessary pronoun game to maintain unnecessary mystery solely for the sake of the audience! Her name is Hela and she’s the goddess of death. There. I said it.

Ragnarok seems to have taken a very bizarre turn from the previous films. Where The Avengers had a bit of a humorous streak beneath the seriousness of saving the day, Ragnarok seemed to have smoked too much weed and leapt off the other end straight into insanity. The entire story was ridiculous, drowning in silly moments of humour and awkward conversation that departed far from Thor’s dignified, powerful, and sincere character build-up to this point. In a bad way. It’s as if all the characters dropped a zero in their IQ. There was so much awkward conversation that was pointless and peppered with stammers that compromised the seriousness of the character, situation, and declaration.

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Before I realised it, Odin just died out of the blue.

The Big Bad turns out to be an Asgardian Maleficent. It’s nice to see a badass female in the very male-dominated Marvel world, even if she was still white (well, fine, Vikings are white). We meet the Big Bad about a third of the way into the film and we don’t see her again until 75% in. The secondary antagonist, the grandmaster, is superficial and idiotic, not at all scary, making me doubt his role as secondary antagonist. Maybe butt monkey would have been more suiting. He’s even worse than Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending.

The story itself, ridiculousness aside, didn’t seem to make much progress or contribute much to the overall universe. I admit, I didn’t expect to see Hulk as the champion of Sakaar and was wondering when he’d step in. I guess this is an attempt to explain what happened to him after Ultron. To be honest, by this point, I care so little about the whys and wherefores I just went along with it. No critical thinking involved with this.

And then we hit the bum jokes. Devil’s anus. You’re shitting me.

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This review is all over the place, because the story is all over the place. The storyline is crazy, the characters have lost their integrity, there is no mystery or anything at stake, and Bruce Banner has SEVEN PhDs???? Did he literally spend his entire adult life (considering they take like 4 years EACH) doing research??

I think my sympathy is meant to hang on Skurge, an undeveloped traitor servant who does a sacrifice is redemption at the end. Alas for the poor shit, that provoked no emotion from me whatsoever because, due to lack of character development and presence, I felt nothing for him from start to finish. Poor Skurge.

Verdict: what the fuck. Were the producers high? 2 stars.

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