Film Review: Bridget Jones’s Baby

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I liked a bit of Bridget Jones back when the first two films came out: they were funny, horrifically cringeworthy, and altogether a lighthearted comedy that could be enjoyed with girlfriends over cups of tea. I’m usually over-critical of the blundering, dimwitted Jones, and yet at the same time I do enjoy watching it. Complex love-hate relationship. BJ3 didn’t disappoint.

First things first: what has Renee Zellwegger done to her face??? No amount of dieting can give her straight enough eyebrows to beat a spirit level and a forehead that can’t move. She was so pretty in the previous films!

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Film Review: Logan

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I’m a big fan of X-men and Marvel. I love super powers. Heck, one of my novels was basically inspired by X-men crossed into power rangers. So when Logan came out, I was very excited.

“Logan” takes the story on quite a different tone to the previous ones: no mass extermination, no victims of feat and discrimination, and actually almost zero supernatural powers save Logan’s regeneration and the ailing Xavier’s seizure-related psychic attacks until the kids came in at the very end. The CGI and imaginative ways the superpowers are used are some of the winning aspects of the series so on that aspect, I’m quite disappointed.

Contains spoilers, duh.

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Film Review: Annabelle

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I confess, dolls scare the freaking Jesus out of me. I don’t know if it’s some hidden childhood trauma of being eaten by a porcelain doll when I was a foetus or having my mind curdled by a clown at my twelfth birthday (neither of which happened, by the way), the glass doll eyes that stare at you in the dark and the apparently inanimate postures is high octane stuff of nightmares for me.

Which is why I chose to watch Annabelle, because of the freakish doll on the front – the same reason I watched Dead Silence (which by the way is one horrific doll fest, and I will review that in the future.)

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Film Review: Train to Busan

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Train to Busan is not a film I would normally watch. I had seen plenty of zombie films (X of the living dead, I Am Legend, 30 X later, Dawn of the Dead etc.) and played video games pertaining to that too, so another film in that genre wouldn’t pique my attention. On top of that, it’s Korean. Now I have nothing against Korean stuff. It just means I have to chase subtitles as well and that makes appreciating a film more difficult; whilst I understand bits of Japanese from anime binges, I know zero Korean.

But my fiance wanted to watch it so I did.

Spoiler alert, duh.

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Film Review: Jurassic World

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Dinosaurs are cool. Dinosaurs are awesome. Jurassic Park was a good portion of my childhood, so this new film is going to be amazing. Right?

If disbelief is worth £1 per “WTF” moment I might be stinking rich, but eh, I enjoyed it.

Contains spoilers, duh.

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Film Review: Escape Plan

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Oooh so it’s been a while since I watched thrillers, having had a constant stream of fantasy and horrors recently. This was my partner’s suggestion after watching half of Jurassic World and getting bored. Starring Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, this film was guaranteed to be filled with action and poor enunciation — and I was not disappointed.

Contains spoilers, duh.

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