Film Review: Annabelle

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I confess, dolls scare the freaking Jesus out of me. I don’t know if it’s some hidden childhood trauma of being eaten by a porcelain doll when I was a foetus or having my mind curdled by a clown at my twelfth birthday (neither of which happened, by the way), the glass doll eyes that stare at you in the dark and the apparently inanimate postures is high octane stuff of nightmares for me.

Which is why I chose to watch Annabelle, because of the freakish doll on the front – the same reason I watched Dead Silence (which by the way is one horrific doll fest, and I will review that in the future.)

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Film Review: Train to Busan

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Train to Busan is not a film I would normally watch. I had seen plenty of zombie films (X of the living dead, I Am Legend, 30 X later, Dawn of the Dead etc.) and played video games pertaining to that too, so another film in that genre wouldn’t pique my attention. On top of that, it’s Korean. Now I have nothing against Korean stuff. It just means I have to chase subtitles as well and that makes appreciating a film more difficult; whilst I understand bits of Japanese from anime binges, I know zero Korean.

But my fiance wanted to watch it so I did.

Spoiler alert, duh.

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Film Review: Jurassic World

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Dinosaurs are cool. Dinosaurs are awesome. Jurassic Park was a good portion of my childhood, so this new film is going to be amazing. Right?

If disbelief is worth £1 per “WTF” moment I might be stinking rich, but eh, I enjoyed it.

Contains spoilers, duh.

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Film Review: Escape Plan

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Oooh so it’s been a while since I watched thrillers, having had a constant stream of fantasy and horrors recently. This was my partner’s suggestion after watching half of Jurassic World and getting bored. Starring Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, this film was guaranteed to be filled with action and poor enunciation — and I was not disappointed.

Contains spoilers, duh.

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Film Review: Parlor

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I’ve had a pretty pathetic stream of poor quality horror movies in the past few weeks, so I was looking for something bloody and satisfying without brainwork. “Parlor” seemed to tick all those boxes.

It’s a very stereotypical slasher horror. Stereotypically stupid American teenagers decide it would be a good idea to go to a relatively underdeveloped eastern European country (in this case, Lithuania) for a period of alcohol, debauchery, and bad choices. Very similar to “Hostel”.

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Film Review: Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

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Oh heyyy. Love me some FPS horror games, especially those that give me nightmares. Although the recent RE games and all the films have certainly not been following the horror trend and more the action/adventure/thriller road, I’ve watched all the films so far for the brain-dead action-packed CGI for the easy entertainment value.

The latest RE has not failed to disappoint per usual.

Contains spoilers, duh.

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